Never let go
by HipsterGirl99
Summary: Naomi and Emily were once inseparable, but now as things got complicated they couldnt hold on any longer. its a year later when Naomi sees her again... First Naomily story by moi soz but i suck at summaries
1. Still

**STILL**

I loved her. But it wasn't just love now, was it? It was something completely out of this world, the kind of love one would expect to find written into fairy tales. No… I was completely and madly in love with her. I'd spend every waking second thing about what she was doing in that exact moment; secretly hoping that she had been thinking the exact same thing as me. The days when I woke up next to her, the sun shining on her heavenly torso, riddled with numerous bites and scratches. They brought back beautiful memories of the night before. Her soft moans and sweet murmurings of 'I love you' repeated in my ear always brought me over the edge. Every day was beautiful when we were together and I couldn't imagine another life without her. Sadly though, her family, apart from her pervy brother did not approve of our relationship. They had tried so many things to keep me away but I wouldn't….couldn't give up. She would always come running back in the middle of the night telling me that she would never ever leave me. Oh how I wish that was still the case.

Now as I watch her across the club, techno music thumping in my ear and her sprawled all over HER, I struggle to keep myself grounded as it feels like my heart is being clutched violently in my chest. How could she forget what we once had? She was the one to end things, thinking that it was to exhausting having to always hide from her family just to see me. Sadly I had to let her go. Sometimes I wake up at night hoping it had all been a nightmare when the thought comes crashing down that sadly this was reality and she seemed to be moving on now.

I was broken out of my muse when I felt a light tap on the back of my head and turned around to meet blue eyes that belonged to my best friend, Effy. Her stare had made me a little nervous as it felt like she was actually poking around in the inner depths of my mind.  
" Did you know Emily's here?" she inquired with that infamous smirk that she possessed.  
"No…I d-didn't," I sheepishly answered.  
Her demeanour changed and she seemed to be shifting to something behind with an all knowing look in her eye.  
"Hey-"  
"Don't turn around," she ordered  
"Why?"  
"Can't you feel that hole being burned into your head?"  
As soon as what she just said registered into my mind I became acutely aware that the area behind was the one I had been observing no too long ago. I could feel it; I could feel her intense gaze.  
"You alright Naomikins?"Effy asked probably from my lack of a response.  
"Y-Yeah... I'm fine,"  
"You should go talk to her. It's been almost a whole year since I've seen her," she pointed out as if to challenge me. "Show her that you cannot be so easily left behind." With a last kiss on the cheek and a cheeky wink she disappeared into the throng of bodies bouncing energetically to the beat.

You know what? Fuck it. I lost her once and by the looks of it she doesn't seem too bothered by her choice anymore. With a pop of a pill that I had in my pocket I strutted confidently to the secluded area for those looking to drink and touch in private. She still looked as beautiful as I last saw her even though she had mascara running down her face and puffy eyes at the time. She no longer had bright red hair but it still held a certain tinge of red to it. As soon I reached the vicinity she seemed like she hadn't been fazed by my appearance and immediately turned her attention to the blonde whose lap she had occupied. I sat down on the sofa near where she was and looked at her intensely immediately feeling myself heat up at the sight of the skin showing that left a lot to the imagination. I leant in to greet her when she whispered something into the blonde's ear and directed her hands to lie dangerously in her inner thighs. Oh I get it now, I thought, that's the kind of game you want to play, huh? My intense staring did not falter as I watched the scene that was unfolding, my body getting filled with a whole lot of jealousy and getting strangely turned on as I wished that it was me she was touching instead. The blonde girl seemed to look a little more heated as Emily slowly inched her way closer to her core. I decided to let my jealousy take over and angrily stomped towards her where I took her by surprise and dragged her towards the exit leaving the blondie confused and furious at what had just happened. The loud music made it hard to hear what I'm pretty sure was her loud protest for me to let go of her.

As soon as the cold night air hit us, all my confidence left my body and I was shockingly aware of the warmth of her hand in mine. 'What should I say?' I think to myself.  
"Naomi! Naomi!" Emily was shouting at me now as she waited for me to do something. No…we had to talk, I can't put this off any further. I immediately turned around and for the first time this night I was left stunned. She was right in front of me, only mere inches separating our faces. Courage suddenly took over my body and I pressed her up against the side of the wall. The only words that came out of my mouth were….."I'm still in love with you"…..

**And that's the end of the first chapter of my first naomily story sorry for the cliffhanger s to the peeps that read this but tbh I thought it might leave you wanting more ;) **

**Plz R&amp;R and message me if you want to give me any constructive criticism. All comments are welcome just be nice about it thx haha**

**Til next time…Bye**


	2. Please

At my sudden confession Emily did not answer me for what felt like forever. I was mentally kicking myself at the fact that while I had a million other things in my head and rehearsed words to say to her in this moment all that came out was what I felt, plain and simple. I slowly start backing away when she grabbed the edge of my leather jacket and looked up at me with tears trailing down her cheeks. I immediately brushed them away and looked deeply into her eyes.  
"I'm s-so sorry Naoms" was her final answer. Why was she apologising? I'm the reason why she's crying, aren't I?  
"No…I'm sorry...i don't even know what I was thinking, I just saw you tonight for the first time again an-"I was suddenly cut off with soft pressure of her lips against mine. My mind had gone completely blank in this moment and as I started to reciprocate, my lips were suddenly left vacant. I opened my eyes to see that she had begun to cry even more. Pulling her into my embrace I tried to tell her that everything would be ok. It was hurting me so much that she was in this state.  
"Why are you the only one who makes my heart ache so I softly whispered to myself as she had her face buried in the crook of my neck. She suddenly tensed up at hearing these words and broke out of my embrace showing me so many mixed emotions within pool of her warm brown eyes. I immediately panicked as I started regretting what I had just said. It's the truth isn't it? No one else has ever made something so painful feel so good? With one final look she pecked my lips for the last time and left without a word. Jesus, you've done it now haven't you Naomi?

Later that night I had preceded to find Effy within the club, where she was currently showing no interest in some douchebag that was probably trying all the worst pickup lines in the book. Upon my arrival she lightened up and continued to ignore the lad and making her way over to me.  
"So I take it you fucked up or what?" she asked yelling into my ears. How does she do that? Seriously, this girl must have had a monitoring device implanted into my head during my sleep or something. "Yeah you could say that" I answered back not trying to hide anything from her.  
"Right then, I say the night's still young meaning there's a lot of time for you to get monumentally smashed" was her final answer before I was being dragged into god knows where.

FUUUCK. My head literally fills as if someone was splitting my head open with a chainsaw. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking when agreeing to effs proposition. Oh speaking of the devil she's lazily sprawled across my body still looking as fucking perfect as always. It takes all my strength to get her off of me and even make my way off the bed. As I sat up on the edge and held my head between my hands flashes of the night before appeared in my head. Dancing, drinking, Effy, blonde girl and…Emily with tears streaming down her face. It's a fucking mystery how I can't even remember what happened after that. Oh wait yeah that mystery is solved with Effy and alcohol. Effy stirs behind me and quickly makes her way off the bed and walks lazily to the bathroom. Damn her and her high tolerance. She's the only person I know that could have as much alcohol and drugs as there is blood in her body and still walk with a skip in her step the next day. I want to get up but I just can't, it just feels like there are a bunch of anvils piled on top of my head. Its then that Effy walks in and places what I think is some painkillers and a glass of water. I groggily answer with a "thanks" and then she leaves probably to go get some breakfast.

A few hours later and vie been sitting in the exact same spot of the local café for pretty much the whole day. That is that Effy dragged me off of my ass to get some grub in me. Have you ever had one of those moments where you're staring off into space just contemplating and then you suddenly realise you had been staring at someone without knowing? Well that's been happening a lot to me today. Sadly it's all these hopeful looking guys and girls that I'm met with and then I have to awkwardly looking away as a sort of rejection. Usually I couldn't give a flying fuck if this happened but I can't help feel self-conscious since I know how rejection sucks ass. Effy left hours ago to go meet up with some guy she apparently met last night called Cook. Well one of us has to have a love life, right? I take out my phone and look through my contact list stopping at that her name. I've probably done this 20 times today and every time I find a reason to not call or text her. What if she's with someone else? Maybe she's busy? Is she expecting me to call? Man I need to make up my damn mind. Seriously she's the only one that can affect me this bad, and as if the gods want to spite me more guess who comes walking through the door. Yep you probably guessed it…Emily.

Okay she's been here for probably half an hour and still hasn't noticed me. I've just been shrinking away in the corner of my booth since I probably look like shite today. Damn, why did she have to look so goddamn beautiful? Honestly only yesterday I saw her with tears in her eyes and still thought she was gorgeous and now in her normal cute casual clothes she can still pull off that sexy look. Its then that I think that she felt my stare when she looks up and immediately spots me. Shit! She's looking at me all confused like a deer caught in a headlight probably thinking the exact same thing as me. Ok so if I try to get away that says I don't want anything to do with her but if I stay here then I'll know I'll try to talk to her and things will just be awkward as fuck. (Sigh), why can't things just be simple for once, like the times that me and her would go swimming at the lake, splashing each other childishly and then presume to make love under the stars.

Eventually I decide to head to the studio anyways since my deadline his in two days. I'm currently studying music and journalism. I know I know it's a weird mix but journalism is my passion and music is my escape. Looks like the universe has other plans for me though because as I make my way down the street I feel someone grasp my hand and drag me to a secluded area. I immediately wrench my hand away, thinking it's some wanker looking to fuck me up. When I turn around I'm met with the same brown eyes as the night before.  
" Don't run away….please" she says in a whisper barely audible.


	3. Why?

**Hi everyone I'm back with the next chapter of Never Let Go. So sorry about the long wait but I've been hella busy with school assignments and relationships to continue writing for this story. Seems like I'm in a position to continue now and I wanted to thank the ppl who have taken the time to read my lame ass story so far.  
Plz remember to rate and review after you finish reading every chapter because feedback would really help in encouraging me to continue writing.  
-**

**WHY?**

_It was 4 in the afternoon and she hadn't stopped looking at me with the same adoration in her eyes. It's as if I could feel the desire and love this one girl had for me. Four o'clock was our organised time to spend time with each other whenever her family wasn't breathing down her neck. I couldn't help but stare intensely as she proceeded to greet me with a peck on the lips and sauntered towards my kitchen to get some drinks for us like she always did. It was then that I would always sneak up on her and at the right moment and kiss her passionately. She never failed to turn me on with the simple gesture of turning the kettle on and reach on her toes to get cups for us. I turned her around, grabbed her thighs and hoisted her up onto the counter where I buried my head in the crook of her neck. I caressed her thighs and back and leaned back to admire the perfection that was her face. "What are you thinking about?" she whispered as I leaned my forehead against her own and answered "You."  
"You're so cheesy," she giggled as she lightly brushed her lips against my own. She always made me feel like my heart would swell in my chest to the point where the skin and bones could no longer contain it. Without retorting back to her remark I again buried my head in the crook of her neck and deeply inhaled her intoxicating scent. I kissed my way up to her ear and sucked on her lobe. She tightened her legs around my waist in response and exhaled a gasp. "So good…" she would exhale. I again stared intensely into the warmth of her brown eyes and put all my emotions into the one kiss that I gave her. She told me the one thing that would make her completely mine…"I'm ready Naoms." That's all I needed to hear when I lifted her off the counter and carried her up the stairs to my bedroom. As I set her down she pulled me towards her and practically dragged me on top of her onto the bed. Our hips fit in perfectly with each other and as I was slowly grinding against her an unbearable heat entered my core. I stripped her of her clothing and kneeled back to admire this amazing woman before me. 'She's all mine' I thought as I joined her with all my garments off. As soon as our skin met she moaned into my mouth as I kissed her deeply and continued to grind against her core. Her breasts fit perfectly in the palms of my hand and I then started to lightly suck on her nipples until the buds hardened against my lips and her moans got louder. Her hands roamed my back and mine made their way down to between our bodies towards her mound. I gasped as I felt the wetness between her legs and slowly stroked her clit. Her moans were music to my ears. I needed to be sure that she wanted this as much as me before we went any further but god I hoped that she would say yes because I could feel my self-control start to falter. "Are you sure?" I quietly asked her as her dilated pupils looked back at me with love and desire. "Yes..." was her breathy answer.  
-_

That distant memory played in my head as stared back at the warmth of those brown eyes. 'How do I know she won't break me again?' I thought. The fact was that I was still in love with this one girl. She, who probably had more power over me than she thought. I guess distance does make the heart grow fonder. I wanted so badly to give in to her, to just throw it all away and just be with her but there was this niggling feeling in the back of my head that things would get more fucked up again. "Naoms…say something." Emily breathily asked me.  
"Why?" Damn it could I not sound more defensive right now.  
" You were the one who's been staring at me all fucking morning! So I figured you had something to say" she retorted, clearly angry with my question.  
"Look Emily I don't know why I do the things I do, honestly , just seeing you again kind of made me embarrassed because of what happened last night." I answered, jumping to the point.  
She didn't say anything as she stepped into my personal space. I tried hard to look anywhere but her face, but she wouldn't have it as she turned me to face her. "Naoms, I love you and I know you love me too. I'll die knowing that you love me. I'll never love anyone the same as I you…b-but we can never ever be together. Can you please understand?" Little by little my heart felt as if it was being clutched violently in my chest, twisted and squeezed. "Emily…"I gasped out trying to swallow the tears that were threatening to spill. A single tear slid down her perfect rosy cheek. Emptiness was immediately felt through those eyes. Before I could do anything, she sealed her statement with one last kiss. I squeezed my tightly shut trying so hard to suppress any pain that I was feeling. As she pulled back I could no longer contain myself. "Emily…I can't" I choked out, tears tried calming me and looked into my eyes one final time before her warmth left my space and she was gone.

**That's the end of this chapter! Sorry for making this a bit too angsty or anticlimactic but I couldn't help myself. I don't know when ill return with the next chapter but for now it would be greatly appreciated if you could R&amp;R this story. Don't hesitate to criticise or send in any suggestions to improve this story to my inbox.  
CIAO **** till next time guys!**


	4. Trying

Hello guys! First of all I want to start off by saying thank you to all the people who have either favourited or taken the time to give me their opinion of my story! I've had a lot of time to think about what I was going to write next for this chapter and it looks like the day has come where I finally continue on this story. I'm not particularly happy with what I've conjured up as I did write this at 3:46 in the morning and I just haven't been doing so well. But alas writing seems to be my only escape. So here it is…

Disclaimer: I do not own skins or any of the characters within the show

Remember to R&amp;R!

I remember that moment that I knew I had fallen in love with Emily. It was a normal day like any other she was at my place yet again and was sitting on my couch, hair tousled cutely, the concentration on her face as she watched some comedy show on tv or something. She was wearing my pig t-shirt which may as well have been a dress on her petite frame. I don't know if she knew I was watching her or she was completely oblivious to my stare. I slightly noticed that the notebook in my hand was gripped tightly as I watched her instead of writing. Every time she laughed or glanced at me with that goofy smile made me think ' I'm never gonna let her slip away, never'. Seeing her in the middle of the room completely open and raw made me feel something deep inside that scared me immensely. Was I falling for her? All this week the same feeling was felt through my body in these small moments with her.

I don't know when she got up or when she appeared in front of me as I stared blankly at my notebook contemplating the thoughts in my head, trying to grasp on to any idea of what I was feeling. "Hi" she breathed out to me as I was broken out of my thoughts and moved my head to look up and find her sweet grin.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I cheekily asked her as she very slowly inched herself closer to me, the front of the shirt showing the nakedness peeking out from underneath.

"I dunno , just wondering why my girlfriend is staring at me so intensely? Still not tired out from this morning?" She huskily whispers into my ears sending shivers down my spine as memories of that morning entered my mind. It certainly does not help either that she's straddling me on the armchair. Instead of answering her I replied with a sweet kiss not really meaning for it to progress any further but she had other plans as she deepened the kiss. That feeling entered my body again as I really felt everything that was happening in this moment. Her scent, her skin, the smell of shampoo in her hair, her soft lips against mine. It all became a little too intense for me as I broke out of the kiss. "What's wrong Naoms?"

"Nothing it's just uh..hmm I dunno," of course I stutter when I should really tell her what's wrong…or more like what feels right? She doesn't take this answer well as she takes it the wrong way and probably thinks something's wrong with her. She gets off me clearly annoyed at me since I've been so cryptic about what's really going on in my head. 'Way to go Naomi leave it to you to start drifting away from someone when things are starting to get serious'.

" I don't know what's wrong Naomi but clearly it's bad enough not to tell me" she finally says as she huffs and tries to find her clothes.

"No Em it's not like that it's just-"

"What Naomi? I've been patient with you all week, you've been acting strange and don't say that everything's fine because they're clearly not. Like did you think I didn't notice anything last night when you looked at me as if you were scared! " As she makes her way to the front door I start to panic. Oh no she's going to leave! I have to tell her before things get bigger than they actually are. Although since when is telling someone you love them not a big thing? Oh fuck it Naomi.

When it looks like she's about to say something I blurt those three words out. I love you.

She's speechless at my admission, seemingly dumbfounded by what just happened.

" Y-you love me?" There's nothing more I can say but nod and slowly walk towards her bringing her into my arms. Now that I've said it want to tell her a million times again.

" I love you" it's only said in a gentle whisper but when she kisses me in response there's nothing more I need her to say to me to know that she loves me back.

I don't know how long I stayed rooted in that one spot. Could've been hours maybe even seconds but it didn't matter. This pain within my chest wouldn't stop and there was nothing I could do about it. The one person I fight for and they destroy me in the span of a few words. I didn't want that to be our final goodbye. I didn't plan for things to happen this way. She chased me, she didn't have to come after me. She could've just have easily let me be on my way. Anger rose up inside me but I let it burn inside just as I always did. I had to get out of here right now. The moment plagued my mind and it hurt me immensely. I ran, ran as I fast as I could to nowhere. Funny thing is that nowhere ended up being the flat that me and Effy currently lived at. It was then in that moment standing at the door of my bedroom that all my self control was out the window.

I wake up to two familiar ocean blue orbs staring down at me, concern showing through them. "You're finally up you twat!" Effy's tone contradicted what I could see in her eyes. The floor felt hard and uncomfortable. Although the thing is that I probably deserved this pain. Effy unexpectedly pulls me up to a seated position and holds me close to her chest. It is at times like this that I'm reminded that she is one of the only people I know that can read me like a book. "It's okay Naomi you don't have to be strong for me…" I really want to scream,cry and latch onto her but my body won't do it. It's as if something has snapped my ability to react in two. She pulls me up and sits me on the bed. The mirror across the room stares right back at me and I don't even know if it's myself I'm looking at. It was merely an empty shell of me. Effy looked back at me through the mirror.

" It will never change Eff…she still doesn't want me"

"I know."

" 'Course you do"

With a final sympathetic look she left the room mumbling something about leaving me with my thoughts. Bad idea. I didn't even what I wanted to do more. Clean up the mess I made or further destroy the remnants of my previous episode.

Weeks went by, Effy and I eventually got back into our usual routine, although an unexpected addition came into the picture and it seemed like her boyfriend Cook spent every moment of fun with us. At first, I had wanted nothing to do with their relationship as I was still in the early stages of recovering from that day. Basically as Cook put " wow you sure are stone cold, aren't ya?". I know I should've been supportive of Effy as she was my best friend but I just couldn't bear to look at how happy they were together while my heart constricted as they reminded me of those moments with , her. Eventually, I learned to be a sarcastic bitch and just went with the flow of my days. Cook actually was like the big brother I never had and although he and Effy made each other crazy it at least gave me an ounce of happiness in my life to see her smile more often. It was easier to ignore the loneliness I felt everyday in those small moments that I was left alone. My time was occupied with college work as that was what kept me sane when eff and cook spent time with only each other. Her number was still in my phone and although it was exactly a month since she destroyed me I had only just the started to think about the reason I still kept her number in my phone. I wondered that if I ever called her would she apologise for what she did? I guess I'll never know until that day comes.

My heart was feeling heavy my head punted in my chest and sweat rolled down my head. I couldn't sleep that night as my mind chose to relive every moment I had with Emily all over again. I was being bombarded with our constant fighting towards then end of our relationship and then that day where everything was lost forever. I looked around my bedroom and saw that the clock next me said 2:45 am. I'm sure Effy and Cook were still out in the town somewhere, either fucking or going crazy in a club somewhere. This was one of those moments where I truly felt alone. I don't even know what I was thinking when the first person I called was that one number that I still kept.

" Hello?" Upon hearing that first syllable I suddenly lost all my breath. My heart tightened as this was the voice of the woman I once loved….still loved. Tears streamed silently down my cheeks as I couldn't realease the words I so desperately needed to say.

" Naomi?" She whispers my name in realisation. Yet again I didn't respond. A span of silence filled the air until her sweet voice floods my ears again.

" Naomi if this is you….just know that I never meant for any of this to happen…. Just know that I love you…please be strong o-ok. If you love me you'll let me go… pls Naoms. Im not enough for you….you need someone that will be able to freely be with you, ok?" She said this in between sobs that made it extremely hard for me to stay quiet. My heart broke for her. She was EXACTLY enough for me, it was never over for me. Except that it was 2 months since things were made final and she was right in a way, it was just hard for me to accept at the moment. " I-I will always, always be yours, you hold on to that Naomi…." Upon hearing her final plea, the pain became unbearable and the phone cut out. A symbol of my final connection with her. The reaction that my body revealed betrayed what my mind told me to do. Rage was the only way I could handle things right now. I had to stop myself from calling her again. No coherent thought entered my mind as I threw my phone across the room to have it smash against wall and left I pieces on the ground as though it were a an exact representation of my heart. " I will….".


End file.
